Ladies and Gentlemen. I am bored with my hair. I'm bored with my shlumpy body. Yawnyawnyawn. So the first thing I'm going to do when I get my ass up out of this chair is take a shower and go pick raspberries. And ride my bike. And workout with a superhunky personal trainer. In my mind.
But first, I need your opinion. It matters to me. I'm getting a hair cut tomorrow. I always go in and give her sort of a vague description of what I want, and she always does a great job. Honestly, she makes me look better than I should. Or actually do. Then when I get home, it all goes to hell. And I'm yearning, as I always do this time of year, for something short and easy to care for. Something I could just run my fingers through and be done with. The cut I have now is a really good cut, and when I leave the salon, it looks fantastic because she actually styles it. With a flat iron and everything. But here's the thing: I have a great natural wave in my hair and I NEVER use the flat iron. Well, maybe I'll use it twice in between haircuts.
And the thing I've noticed is that my hair texture has changed. It's straighter and heavier on top (meaning flat) and wavy on the bottom. Kind of like my body shape. Also, I've got jowls now. I'm really hoping that someday soon, jowls will be in fashion. Like super-puffy collagen lips. I fear, though, that it won't happen.
I"M TRYING TO AGE GRACEFULLY, I REALLY AM. IT'S NOT WORKING. So help a girl out. Help me pick a hair style. I don't know how to put a poll on my blog, so just leave your comment and I'll do the math myself. MWAH. You are all such lovely, beautiful, young people.
Here's me now: notice the gigantic forehead. The angle really detracts from the jowls, but look at the lovely EYEBAGS! And yes, I know, a haircut cannot do anything to take away those eyebags. but still....
We'll call this one A.
So here are some other options:
Option B. This pert and adorable Meg Ryan do.
Option C. Lithe & Lovely Mandy Moore hair
Option D. Spunky Martina McBride
Option E No One I Know
Option F No One I Know 2
Our last hope, uh, option G
OH!, and if you have a minute you should run over to my friend Robin's blog, because not only is she an amazing writer, she has super cute hair, but I'd be afraid to go that short, so just go and read her blog because she's a lovely person and an amazing writer!
If you have more important things to do with your time, I understand, but you SHOULD REALLY TRY TO CONSIDER THIS BECAUSE I'M GETTING MY HAIR CUT TOMORROW MORNING AT 9:00.
Big hairy love to all of you.