So, today should be fun. C is getting his first colonoscopy tomorrow, which for the uninitiated (those of you under 50), means today he is not allowed to eat anything but jello and popsicles, which is a perfect diet if you're 5, but not so great if you are a grown man; and he has to drink an entire bottle of Miralax over the course of three hours and spend the rest of the day in his bathroom. He asked his doctor if he could work today, and his doctor said "Do you work on a toilet? Because unless you work on a toilet, then no, you can't go to work." So there's that.
If that weren't enough fun for one day, I dished out a consequence for the boy yesterday that entails no xbox and no cell phone today. Seriously, I'm thinking of locking myself in the bathroom with C. Or running away to join a chain gang. At least they sing.
What happened was this - He had a friend over, and they were going to ride scooters to a neighborhood park, and I had to run to the vet to get Emma the wonderdog her special dogfood, and was only going to be gone for fifteen minutes. He had instructions to be home in an hour. And he had his phone with him in case of an emergency. As I'm driving to the vet, I pass the park and see two guys from our 'hood playing basketball. These guys are in their twenties and they are sketchy. Like, drugdealing, thieving, but no one has caught them yet sketchy. As I pull over to call JH, Charley texts me to ask me to pick up prescriptions at the drugstore, which I know will add a bit of time to my run, but no problem, I'll just call the boy and tell him to wait to go to the park until I get home. I also knew that the other boys mom was home and close by, so I wasn't freaked out. Yet.
I dialed and got the machine and I leave a message. He's probably just on his scooter and didn't hear the phone. I get to the vet, I pick up Em's food, and call again. No answer. I head to the drugstore, which is just a few blocks away. I text. Nothing. By this time, I'm standing in line to get the prescription, but my hands are starting to sweat, and I'm envisioning the boys tied to a basketball hoop, robbed of their possessions and crying for their moms. Or he's lost his phone. Or left it in the backyard. I call three more times. Shoot. It's in the backyard, and the hoodlums heard the phone and stole it AFTER they tied the boys to the basketball hoop. The pharmacist hands me the prescriptions and I pay and race out the door, my heart in my throat.
As I pull up the hill, I see the boys walking up the hill with scooters, laughing.
"Where's your phone?!!!"
"Hey mom! Why'd you call me so much?"
He heard the phone. He saw my text. He just didn't bother to listen to my messages OR pick up the phone.
Really, he got off light. My first instinct was no phone for a week. But realizing that the phone alone wouldn't do it, I had to take the xbox hostage too. And after I calmed down and we talked about WHY it's important for him to answer his phone, that I'm not just calling to say "hi"- five phone calls in a row MIGHT be important, I knew he got it, he was remorseful AND wouldn't do it again, I still had to give some sort of consequence. But a week without xbox is going to be a bigger punishment for me than him. One day. Plus he gets to do some work for me today.
I do believe there will be wine for Mom tonight.
If that weren't enough fun for one day, I dished out a consequence for the boy yesterday that entails no xbox and no cell phone today. Seriously, I'm thinking of locking myself in the bathroom with C. Or running away to join a chain gang. At least they sing.
What happened was this - He had a friend over, and they were going to ride scooters to a neighborhood park, and I had to run to the vet to get Emma the wonderdog her special dogfood, and was only going to be gone for fifteen minutes. He had instructions to be home in an hour. And he had his phone with him in case of an emergency. As I'm driving to the vet, I pass the park and see two guys from our 'hood playing basketball. These guys are in their twenties and they are sketchy. Like, drugdealing, thieving, but no one has caught them yet sketchy. As I pull over to call JH, Charley texts me to ask me to pick up prescriptions at the drugstore, which I know will add a bit of time to my run, but no problem, I'll just call the boy and tell him to wait to go to the park until I get home. I also knew that the other boys mom was home and close by, so I wasn't freaked out. Yet.
I dialed and got the machine and I leave a message. He's probably just on his scooter and didn't hear the phone. I get to the vet, I pick up Em's food, and call again. No answer. I head to the drugstore, which is just a few blocks away. I text. Nothing. By this time, I'm standing in line to get the prescription, but my hands are starting to sweat, and I'm envisioning the boys tied to a basketball hoop, robbed of their possessions and crying for their moms. Or he's lost his phone. Or left it in the backyard. I call three more times. Shoot. It's in the backyard, and the hoodlums heard the phone and stole it AFTER they tied the boys to the basketball hoop. The pharmacist hands me the prescriptions and I pay and race out the door, my heart in my throat.
As I pull up the hill, I see the boys walking up the hill with scooters, laughing.
"Where's your phone?!!!"
"Hey mom! Why'd you call me so much?"
He heard the phone. He saw my text. He just didn't bother to listen to my messages OR pick up the phone.
Really, he got off light. My first instinct was no phone for a week. But realizing that the phone alone wouldn't do it, I had to take the xbox hostage too. And after I calmed down and we talked about WHY it's important for him to answer his phone, that I'm not just calling to say "hi"- five phone calls in a row MIGHT be important, I knew he got it, he was remorseful AND wouldn't do it again, I still had to give some sort of consequence. But a week without xbox is going to be a bigger punishment for me than him. One day. Plus he gets to do some work for me today.
I do believe there will be wine for Mom tonight.
1 comment:
I'm glad I'm not the only parent who immediately jumps to worst-case scenario. Wine for everyone! Also: not looking forward to 50.
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