"thank you for the blessings"

That's the grace we say at our table. It's cobbled together out of my lapsed Lutheran upbringing (where we said grace before my mom died, and then sat in front of the tv with tv trays after she died and said nothing but pass the ketchup), my son's Fire and Brimstone Lutheran preschool grace, and my husband's deeply spiritual athiest beliefs. If we were a dog, we'd be a mutt - soulful, loyal and kind of mangy.

But last night, we said it at our table, holding hands, just as we do everytime we gather together at our table. And I felt deeply, humbly, grateful. I had a horrible flu yesterday, the kind where I actually slept during the day (which I NEVER can do unless I'm sick), I ached in my hair and my eyelashes, and coudn't get warm until I finally figured out to put my hands in the pockets of my robe, buried under down comforters. My husband called in to work, arranged to stay home, even though I told him he didn't have to. I would have crawled out of bed and walked Joe-Henry to the bus, and home again, but he wouldn't hear of it. He got Joe-Henry dressed and walked him to the bus stop in the sleeting rain, came back and did laundry, made me tea, and let me sleep the sleep of the drugged. He brought me flu medicine and the 50 lb. Vanity Fair, hunted all over for my reading glasses, made a delicious dinner and kept his sense of humor. I mention this, because I am not particularly a great nurse. I get things done, but I am efficient, in a Nurse Ratchet kind of way.

He inspired me. He is always a hardworking, loving, hysterically funny husband. And he wears a kilt! There are times when the wave we are riding seems to be too huge to believe that we won't be capsized, but we hang on - to each other, to the promise of the future, to this sweet, funny kid who could make a ride on the Titanic a lot more fun. Not that I'm comparing our marriage to the Titanic, but there have been some rough seas. But our little boat has been pretty sturdy so far.

So, Sweetheart, for no reason other than the fact that you did what you always do - you gave me your best self, selflessly - I love you. Thank you for the blessings.

potty mouth

You may have noticed a trend here in the last few days. Things are being said by Joe-Henry that might lead one to believe that we live in a truckstop, with foul-mouthed, white trash folks popping in and out that are filling my boy's mind with words that are only used by lazy adults with limited vocabularies.

Well, I have to tell you, we don't. I do my best to limit my cursing, because I think it's a sign of ignorance. But I'm not proud of the fact that he's learned most of them from me, usually when I find a cat poop surprise in the basement. Still, I was kind of stumped as to why certain things were flying out of his mouth. I mean, really, he's kind of a goody-goody, like me, and wants so much to do the right thing at all times. He's forever reminding anyone who says "Oh my God", that they should opt for the much nicer "Gosh", and if I do happen to let slip a curse while cleaning up after the cat, or in traffic, he reminds me to use nicer words. When I reprimanded him about his Bush comment, he felt so bad that he'd used a bad word. I have never said anyone was a "fuck" (or "fucker" for that matter) in front of my son, nor has his dad. But he must have heard one of us use it at some point, so he just thought it would probably be a good thing to say to stay in the conversation. Because he's just smart that way, I guess.

But last night, when he made his comment about how his feet smelled like "ass", I couldn't figure out where it had come from. But I just got it. He's been watching "Ice Age: The Meltdown", and I heard one of the characters say "your breath smells like ants." and at the same time I saw the 100 watt lightbulb go off over Joe-Henry's head. He actually said "ANTS! It smells like ANTS!" Then he said, "Mom, I thought they were saying ASS! But that's not really nice, is it?"

No, but it IS pretty funny.

So in case any of you were thinking that Joe-Henry needs to have his mouth washed out with soap, or more importantly, that he needs to find some parents with more sense and less trash talk, rest assured, we've got it under control.

At least, gosh darn it, I hope so.

oscar impressions....

1. Loved Ellen.
2. Loved Will Farrell & Jack Black & John C. Reilly
3. Helen Mirren looked amazing.
4. What was with Philip Seymor Hoffman's hair?
4.a Celine Dion kind of freaks me out.
5. The triple whammy of Jennifer Hudson & Beyonce followed by the commercial with all the gorgeous women in their underwear prompted my husband to steal a line from my blog. ("Oh Dear God. I've ruined my panties.")
6. While I was cooking dinner, Joe-Henry would call me in urgently, "MOM! There's another pretty girl in a dress!"
7. I LOVED the choir doing the sound effects, and the gospel choir at the beginning.
8. Loved Pilobolus.
9. Loved Forest Whitaker's acceptance speech, but I'm always stymied when winners credit God. I completely respect their belief, but I just wonder if they think God doesn't like the other nominees as much.
10. My favorite speech was by the guy who won for Best Live Action Short. I can't do it justice, find it somewhere. It was really good.

I leave you now, with the little mind movie I took during the last moments of the show:

Interior: Night
The television is on. A small family watches the Academy Awards. Father is sitting in the big chair, while mom and child in mismatched pajamas snuggle on the couch. Pan from the television, where Martin Scorses has just won a much deserved Oscar to the child, who is giving his version of an acceptance speech, while snuggled on his mother's lap:

Child: "Thank you to my family and to all the people that are loving. It's nice to be in a family with people who love me......"
Close up on sweet face, rosy cheeks, then pan to mom, eyes moist with tears of happiness.
Mom: "Oh, Sweetie, that was so nice. That's the best speech of the night."
Sound Effect: The sound of child inhaling deeply. Close up of child's nose as seen through two of his toes, then:

Child: "My feet smell like ass."

Fade to black.
Fin

new music

Our son, Joe-Henry is quite a musician. We've been recording him for some time now, but have been having a tough time trying to figure out how to post the songs. We didn't want to youtube it for some reason, but I set him up with a blog at vox.com., because I couldn't figure out how to do audio here. Let's see if this works...

The Dark Cave of Hair by Joe-Henry McQuary

tag, part two

ACK! While I was in the shower, (I know, it's mid-afternoon, why am I so lame?), I thought of more movies I love!

Here they are:

Network, Broadcast News, Living Out Loud (the last two with Holly Hunter at her best), and for fall on your ass funny The Tall Guy with Jeff Goldblum and Emma Thompson. Best. Sex. Scene. Ever.

Over and out.

I do love a good game of tag...

...especially if I can sit on my ass while playing. In my past life (pre-Joe-Henry), my hubby and I were quite the movie goers. Not necessarily Cinephiles, but movie goers. We'd see the big blow-em-up-good movies, along with the required if you're going to be a hooty-patootie-film -buff Foreign Films.

Here is my list of my 12 favorite films. Or as Ms. Suttonhooput it so well, my top twelve stick to my ribs films. These are films that stay with me, that even mark some milestones in my life.

1. Ponette. A French film about a little girl who loses her mother and how she copes. The most amazing children in this film. I cried my eyes out. Having lost my mother at a young age, this film came at me like a hurricane. I've never seen it again, but I want to.

2. Singin' In The Rain. I had a HUGE crush on Gene Kelly when I was a girl, and the dance numbers are so much fun. It's been a fun one to introduce Joe-Henry to. He loves "Moses Supposes".

3. The Goodbye Girl. Can't be beat for pure shmaltz. It was a seminal film for me in terms of my wanting to be an actress. I thought Richard Dreyfuss was sooooo sexy. (My taste has changed a bit, but I still like 'em smart, funny and sassy).

4. That Thing You Do! Another cheesy one, but it's where I developed my insane crush on Steve Zahn. Plus the peppy music can't help but put a smile on your face.

5. Sunset Boulevard. So crazy, so Hollywood, so beautifully shot.

6. Les Diabolique. I saw this on tv when I was about 11 or 12 and it sooooo thoroughly creeped me out. I LOVED it. The first time I went to Paris, I visited the grave of Simone Signoret and Yves Montand. I'll never forget the guy in the bathtub. Yikes.

7. Waiting For Guffman. As an aging theater whore, this one did me in. I have a hard time watching it now, but for all the right reasons. "Bastard People!" I haven't seen "For Your Consideratio" yet, but I plan to. Christopher Guest is my hero. (Like I've said before, girls love the funny!)

8. Out of Sight. George Clooney & Jennifer Lopez. This only makes my list because George Clooney is such a dreamy dreamboat in his dark suit. Oh, dear God. I've ruined my panties.

9. O Brother Where Art Thou. If it weren't enough that he's so damn handsome, he's FUNNY. We really started getting into bluegrass music after this movie. The soundtrack is amazing.

10. Time Indefinite. A documentary by Ross McElwee about family and life and death. You know, just frivolous stuff. My boyfriend at the time took me to see it, and it affected us both pretty deeply. Shortly after that, he asked me to marry him. I said yes, and the rest is history.

11. Anne of Green Gables with Megan Follows. Another orphan movie. Cried my stinkin' eyes out.

12. It's a tie between Little Miss Sunshine & The 40 Year Old Virgin. I fell in love with Steve Carell when he was in Anchorman. I really didn't like that movie, but I thought he was brilliant and so funny I hurt myself. In L.M.S. he's so vulnerable and funny, and T.40Y.O.V., he's just so sweet. When we lived in L.A., I saw him at the Grove (it was right after Anchorman), and he was there hanging out with his kids, and I was hanging out with JH. It was Christmastime, and we were listening to some guys singing, and I was standing THIS CLOSE to him. He seemed like a good dad and a nice guy. So, I sort of fell in love with him.

That's it for now. Although I think I'll have to come back with Joe-Henry and we can do his 12 favorite films of all time. I'm pretty sure Ice Age: The Meltdown will be on there. He's watching it now, spilling Nerds all over my freshly cleaned floors. Sigh. What I wouldn't give for a night out at the movies.

I'd tag someone, if I knew them well enough to know it wouldn't bum them out. Franklin, if you're up to it.... you're it!

When I'm 100 Years Old by Joe-Henry McQuary

Joe-Henry had his first 100 days of school this week, and there were lots of lessons about counting, etc. But they had to tell an adult what they would be doing when they were 100 years old. (He stayed away from the old standby "I'll be dead, and so will you", so he was actually able to finish his assignment.)

So here it is, with no editing from mom:

When I'm 100, there will be black gates on 13th & Grand Boulevard. There might be new people in town. Maybe there won't be anymore cars. Maybe everyone will have to take buses. My house will change. The color will wash off and the floors will get older. I'll still be singing songs, but I'll have an old voice. I'll have wrinkles on me. There will be new things in my house. My bathtub might look different. I think the town will get older. I think that there will be different stores.