Taking It Literally

The title of my blog, that is. Man, I've been lazy about posting. Probably because I'm too addicted busy playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. But it's been down since yesterday, so, hey, why not catch you up on the insanity fun here at our house.

Joe-Henry is growing like a weed. A sassy, lazy, back-talking, mood-swinging weed. With gas. I could set my clock by the tantrums he's having. Every day at 5. Whether he's had a day chock full of playdates and fun or he's bored out of his mind. I'm finally catching on that I need to give him a really good snack at 3:30. So his stomach isn't empty for the knock out drops.
He has trouble falling asleep at night, and it's the only time of the day he really wants to talk to me. "mom, wasn't that funny when...." Needless to say, I've been falling asleep on my feet. I miss the newborn days when he cried every hour on the hour, because then I could just pop him on the boob and he'd quiet down and go back to sleep.

Yesterday, I finally met his elusive "girlfriend". I call her elusive because we've been trying to set up playdates that she doesn't show up for. We managed to bring her over to our house yesterday, where she immediately wanted to take him into his room and shut the door. She's six. AND adorable. So, I told them they needed to keep the door open, and while they played in his room, I found it a convenient time to scrape all the caulk from the adjacent bathroom tub. A job I'd been meaning to do, and it's easy to listen in and make sure there's no funny business. But apparently I wasn't hawk-like enough, because JH informed me that there was a kiss, "but just on the cheek". He cannot lie to me, though, because as the words came out of his mouth, his eyes fell to his shoes and he melted into a puddle of goo. "OKAY. It was the lips, but really quick. Not a long kiss. I hardly felt it."

I was really hoping this wouldn't happen until his teenage years.

Anyway, I took a picture and would post it here if he hadn't been explicit in his instructions "OKAY. You can take our picture, but DON'T POST IT ON YOUR BLOG." I will leave you with this visual description: she's a full head shorter than him, she's beaming like a blushing bride, she has her arms around his waist, and he looks like he's about to burst from happiness. Oh, and he also looks about 30.

What else: Charley is continuing to plan like a demon for our Scotland trip in the fall. I have been looking up primary schools in Edindburgh in order to have a class project exchange for JH's third grade class. It should be the trip of a lifetime.

Swimming lessons go along with JH thrashing like he's mad at the water, baseball is a blast (the one shiny bright spot right now for all of us!), and the weather has blessedly cooled down. For about a week it felt like someone left the door to hell wide open. It was in the 90's at night, and we have no airconditioning. You aren't supposed to need it in the Pacific Northwest.

So,that's about all she wrote for now. If you're still reading, I imagine you're yawning from boredom, and I'm starting to twitch, so I'm gonna head over to Facebook and see if Bejeweled Blitz is up and running yet.

Nope. Still down.

Well, I guess I could always do laundry or dishes. MWAH to you all! I'm off to make more scintillating memories!

Who Am I Kidding?

How we spend our morning, or The Things My Son Has Learned From Me.

What hath I wrought?




If you'll excuse me, now it's time to power down and seize the day in some manner that does not involve a screen of any kind. I'll miss you, internets.

Perspective

Apparently, Twitter is having some issues, and lots of people are losing "followers" and those they are "following". Many are "bereft", "angry", "upset", "Pissed", and some are questioning life itself. According to the Twitter site where the problem is being followed by millions of pale, pale people.

Jesus. Get a life. Yes, it's annoying. Like when you spill water on your keyboard and fry your computer, or send your cellphone through the laundry. Only it's someone else's bad, and you can bet they are working on it like mad, because it's their baby, but folks are up in arms. Make that UP IN ARMS !!!

This is why I was reluctant to join Twitter in the first place. It's like Geek Crack. So addictive that if you go five minutes without you start to twitch and sweat. I mean, yes, if you're tweeting for business purposes, then it's a drag. But even then, no one has died. No one has cancer. You haven't lost the use of your arms and legs. But most people are just randomly posting their "thoughts" to 2,003 of their closest "friends". How do you even FOLLOW that many people and still have time to go pee? Or are sales of Depends way, way up?

I don't consider myself a luddite, by any stretch. And if you asked my husband, he'd probably say I have a "dependency issue" with my blogging and tweeting. And it is a bit of an inconvenience to lose my peeps, if not my tweets, but I am 46 years old, and I'm using words like "peeps" and "tweets", so how seriously should my complaints be considered?

People, people, people. Look up. Walk away. Stretch. Go for a walk. Or call a friend that you know in real life. Do your dishes. Take this inconvenience, because that's all it is in the grand scheme of things, as a reminder to take a shower. Maybe then you will notice that you are a bit pasty and smelly and pale. And if you think I'm talking to you directly, I'm probably not, because I don't think that the people who read this blog are in this category. I could be wrong, and if I am, I'm sure I'll hear about it.

I'm going to go smell my kids hair and clean the kitchen and get out in this beautiful day. Who knows if I'll be back.

Real life ROCKS.

Why I Don't Twitter

(For Amy)

Because I'd never get anything done.

Ever.