Thursday, January 7, 2010


Last night, I had one of those "aha" moments while talking to JH. Not the good kind of "aha", but the "HELLLOOOO?! have you not been listening to him?!" moments.

About a year ago, JH developed a mad crush on a girl in his class. He told a friend. The friend told the girl. And ever since, the girl has treated him differently. When he talks about her, he says "she hates me now", or "she's really driving me crazy".

But last night, getting ready for bed, he said in the most serious voice, "Mom. Please help me. I don't know what to do. She is really mean to me, and I'm trying to be nice." Then he burst into tears.

"She doesn't like me because I'm different. She's seen me in shorts. She's seen my bumps on my leg."

I navigated us away from that place, knowing in my mother's heart that it wasn't true. I know this girl, and I'm pretty sure that she just doesn't know what to do with the fact that he had a crush on her. And now he doesn't.

Anyway. I got him to the place where he could practice saying what he needs to say. He came up with the perfect little speech, and he wrote it down.

"Please stop following me at recess. I don't like it and it hurts my feelings when you say mean things to me. I can choose who I want to play with, and I don't have to say I'm sorry for that. If you don't stop following me and saying mean things to me, I'll have to tell a recess teacher, because you aren't listening to me."

He wants to wake up early to draw her a picture of flowers. Because he really, really wants to be her friend.

Sigh. And it only gets more complicated.


Ms. Sarah said...

poor boy. I hope she leaves him alone

I, Rodius said...

I recall that the social world of children is treacherous, but somehow, irrationally, I thought it would be different for kids today. Good luck to JH; he's lucky to have you on his team.

Lisa L said...

this just makes me sad. children can be so mean can't they? and when you're getting picked on at that age you feel totally powerless and helpless. his speech is awesome. i hope the girl listens. carefully. and starts treating him with the respect he is due. of course kids like her? she'll just move on to her next victim.

anniemcq said...

I have to make something clear: I don't think this little girl is being intentionally mean. I think it's just a girl/boy thing and she doesn't really get that she's even doing anything. She just doesn't know how to process the whole thing. I'll let you know ho it turns out.

staceyjwarner said...

my heart goes out to JH...little guy.

I love him so.

much love

Anonymous said...

Isn't it so hard to navigate this social terrain? Gah. It's only getting harder! Let us know how it goes!

Alycia said...

Ohhhhhh JH. :(