Saturday, January 13, 2007

uncle

When I was just 12, I distinctly recall going from weeping to laughing in a nanosecond, and thought "that's weird". Turns out, I was going through puberty, and would be at the mercy of something called "hormones" for the next 45 or so years. I managed to be okay, to figure out my particular rhythms: Week one, normal. Week two emotional. Week three bitchy/in pain. Lather, rinse, repeat for a really, really looooong time.

Well, guess what. Those were the good old days. Now I'm in perimenopausal hell, where my periods come every two weeks, and some days I feel like I have to hold on to my head to keep it from flying off. My sleep is off, my moods are swinging like a monkey in a tree, and I can't remember my own name half the time. I've mentioned before that having a six year old during this time of life seems like a cruel trick, but in other ways, it's kind of a wild party. You never know who is going to show up next. Turns out, six is when boys get a huge influx of testosterone, add to that six year molars and you have yourself a recipe for monster stew. We've been mixin' it up pretty good lately, but we had a great week together. My husband was out of town for a trade show, and we survived being Dad-less and had our first snow day. But today my husband returned from San Francisco and told me he thought I could do a better job of parenting, I almost turned in my resignation.

But I can't. I'm signed on for life. I love my son, and my husband, (though right now I'd like to throw something at him), and so I'll try to listen to his criticism constructively. I'll work harder, try to be better, socialize my child more, win some, lose some and get up tomorrow to do it again. That's life in the big parenting city, and though today was a day I'd like to forget, tomorrow will get better. Or not. Chances are, we'll all live, but it might get ugly once in a while. But as Joe-Henry says in his most loving voice, repeating what he's heard from me, "that's just part of life."

I'm a great mom, and he's a great kid. And my husband is a great dad. But his timing is seriously off.

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