Thursday, November 15, 2007

Seven Years Ago...

I was given a new identity.
It didn't stick immediately, because no one called me by my new name right away, and if they did, they said it in such a way that you could hear the quotation marks surrounding it, like when you first get married and someone calls you "Mrs."

After years of trying, and months of waiting, we had a little baby boy.
And he had parents.
My husband and I.
That was us.

I was his Mom.

It took me a long time to grow into my new self - sometimes, I still feel like I haven't got my arm completely through my sleeve. But there is no shaking it off, because, well, he talks now, a lot, and can yell my name when he needs help: "MOM!"

That's me. That's who I am.

He can do so much on his own now - not like in the beginning. He can walk and talk and get dressed by himself (though he still begs for my help), and makes friends and does homework, and operates in the world without me hovering nearby for a full six hours. Yikes.

You'd think that this identity of mine might loosen up a bit, with that freedom, but it doesn't. It wraps itself tighter around me, and I'm realizing, seven years in, that this is me, now, for life.


Hopefully, I won't mess it up too much. Just enough that he'll have stories to tell, and something to gripe to his friends about.

Oh, and that seven year old? He is full of light, and dark and music.
And he is my son.


Crazy Lady said...

Perfectly said.

suttonhoo said...

happy 'day.

English Garden said...

Amazing mom, happy b'day JH.

Lolabola said...

happy birthday JH! and what a great way to see the day for you

Donna said...

There is no better thing to be, for all the pain and frustrations that can come with it.

I still marvel that #1 son's time at home is nearing the halfway mark. How can they be halfway done with their time at home when they turn NINE! I look at the high school kids I work with and know that will somehow be him in just six years. Six years ago I was changing diapers and cutting the crust off toast. Six years from now I will be taking him to get a driver's license and dropping him off at the movies.

And I can't wait.

Kimberly said...

Lovely, just lovely "Mom".

I miss being able to comment but Big Brother has clamped down on us at work. I can read but can't comment and well, you know how it is when you get home... No time to get on the computer for "Fun". I am here though, faithfully reading and being inspired by you.