Saturday, March 22, 2008

Once upon a time...

...I was an idiotic twenty-something. Hedonistic, dramatic, and looking at pictures of myself then, cute as a button, although I truly didn't think so at the time. I wanted to be an artist, an ACTOR, not an actress (too diminutive for what I wanted for myself and my life), and sometimes, judging from the dreams I keep having, I think it might happen yet. But I am taking a break, to roll around in this life called parenting, to soak it up like a sponge, and to watch this amazing person I am raising catch his own light.

Yeah, but anyway, back to me.

So a loooooong time ago, I did the stuff that you do when you're in your early twenties: I drank too much and made out with people whose names I mostly don't remember.

Except for this one guy. Because he has come back to haunt me as that one-night make out session I can't forget. Not because his kisses were so incredible, I honestly don't remember them. I do remember that he was so much taller than I was that I had a terrible kink in my neck the next day, even though I was a lot younger and more pliable than I am now. (Dear God, thank you for not letting it go any further than one night of beer-induced spit swapping. I would be completely malformed by now.)

I also remember that he was riding his bike through Montana, where I happened to be doing summerstock, and he happened to have lots of friends. And he was completely Nordic, and he had the blondest hair I'd ever seen. But mostly the reason I remember him is because of his voice. It was very unusual.

I'm sure he doesn't remember me, but thanks to Nick Jr., I remember him. Every day at 2:00 and 2:30 I am reminded that I used to be, well, sort of slutty. In a Lutheran sort of way.

That's right. I made out with Patrick the Starfish.



Let this be a cautionary tale to those of you still in your twenties.

6 comments:

Lolabola said...

well now that's rather funny.

Kari said...

i love this story

I, Rodius said...

M-O-O-N, that spells slutty!

I'm kinda hoping you saw the TV mini-series version of Stephen King's The Stand, or that won't make a lick of sense.

In the alternative: Dude, you made out with Dauber!

suttonhoo said...

oh sweet lord that's the best.

there's gotta be a site out there somewhere where folks dish on stuff like this. "celebs I have shagged (or just necked with a little)".

if there isn't, we should start one.

Tracey R. said...

That is SO much cooler than Rich's one night stand with Jacques Cousteau's grand-daugther.

Or maybe it's just that my husband had random sex that he reminds me of everytime there's an underwater Discovery Channel special.

Awesome!

Donna said...

Can't. type. laughing. too. ahrd. I mean hard....
*******************************
"M-O-O-N, that spells slutty!"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

'Laws yes! I luvs me some Tom Cullen!
*******************************

I could not possibly handle that relationship as SBSP is on at least two of our TVs every waking hour of the day. Sometimes I turn off the tv in the room I am using and the most obnoxious Sponge Bob laughter continues to echo through the house from the other two tvs that are currently tuned to DirecTV Channel 299.

Does Nick at Nite still run Coach? Dauber I can handle. Patrick, not so much.

Thanks for the belly laugh!!