I've been waiting a while for this one. For the right time. I'm a little concerned that, with my last two HeadSong posts being solidly set at least two decades before the present, this one might finally put me over the edge into the "Time/Life Classic Pop Songs" category, and you'll all be helping me move into the assisted living facility down the road.
But this past couple weeks have been hard on my soul. Some sad, scary news about a dear friend with a rare cancer; my darling husband's battle with sadness, and my own struggle with mostly hormonally induced depression. I've always been one that can shake things off and soldier on, chipper and perky as you can be at fortysix, but the last few days have left me feeling like I am rolling a boulder uphill. While listening to a running commentary about Lego Starwars.
I have always been loathe to talk too much about depression, because, well, it's just depressing. It seems so whiny and unproductive and downright Un-Lutheran. And others have done it so much better than I. In the right hands, depression can sound so romantic, don't you think? But in my hands, it just sits there, cold and clammy and hard and completely unyielding. Too heavy to throw, too solid to mold, making me too tired to do anything but think about how tired I am. But I threw it out there anyway, heavy as it was, and briefly told the world that I felt like shit, and you were all so kind. It brought tears to my eyes to read your comments. Your kindness was like shining a light on something good that I recognized, and it helped me crawl out and brush off a bit, and get on with the getting on of my life.
So to thank you, I want you to hear one of the more beautiful songs I've ever heard. Charley played this for me years ago. It's from a Jennifer Warnes/ Leonard Cohen album called Famous Blue Raincoat (with a 20 Year Anniversary reissue, it's so worth a trip to Amazon). It's a fabulous album, and her voice is amazing. So unaffected, so easy, so warm. And this song is my favorite. It's about faith in goodness, and really, couldn't we all do with a bit more of that?
Be sure to hug yourself tight for me when the song is finished. Love to all of you, Mrs. McQ