If you don't like to read about married adults doing what married adults do (not nearly often enough in my humble opinion), please feel free to skip this post. You've been forewarned.
Alright, I'll begin here...
I guess it had to happen sometime.
My fabulous in-laws arrived Friday afternoon, to hang out with Joe-Henry and I while Charley is off at a tradeshow for the week. And because I will miss him terribly, I decided to send him off properly, and make sure he was eager to come home. I had fallen asleep earlier with Joe-Henry, reading a book, and sometime after midnight I crawled into our bed. And my husband is a very warm and snuggly person, and his parents were right downstairs, so right there it just feels that much naughtier, and one thing lead to another, and we began to, as Rodius says so eloquently, make the sweet, sweet love.
At some point there was a pause in the action when I heard "MOM!"
We waited a second, then I heard it again, "MAAWWWM!"
So before he wakes the whole house, I put on my pajamas and head into his room, where he was on the bed, on top of the covers, face down, his head buried in his hands. Uh oh.....
"Mom, I heard a noise! It was a heavy breathing noise, and I thought maybe something was wrong with Grandpa, but then I heard Daddy...."
And because I am lightening fast in the middle of the night when my head is swimming with sleep and sex, I said "Oh, sweetie, that was just daddy and I. We were just smooching."
"I know, but I heard this..." And at this point he begins to mimic the sounds he heard us making, and I started laughing hysterically. I tried to get it under control, and eventually I did, but not before I secured his January 4th, 2020 5 p.m. appointment with his shrink. I manage to get out something about grown ups and loving each other in a different grown up way, and ended with, "and sweetheart, I think it's probably best if you don't talk about this to anyone else. Daddy and I will answer any questions you have." With that he snuggled up and went back to sleep. I padded down the hall to my now sleeping husband, and lay there wide awake for about an hour.
The next morning, he hops out of bed and as I walked into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee, he's loudly telling grandma and grandpa about the noises, and begins to do his impression for them "and then I heard 'aaaahhhhhhh, aaaaahhhhhh, yeeeeeeeeaaahhh, really quiet but breathing hard, and it was just Mom and Dad SMOOCHING!' I managed to get myself back into the bedroom, where I crawled under my bed with the dust bunnies for a good ten minutes. My poor mother-in-law kept trying to steer the conversation to all the oranges we have, and how sweet they are, and where did we get them, but he wouldn't be deterred until his dad came out and said, "Hey, Joe-Henry, why don't you go show grandpa your Lego Starwars game."
Today when Charley left, Joe-Henry gave me a really hard time for telling Charley how good he smelled. "You never say I smell good mom!" He acted out for a good hour after Charley left, and finally he told me the reason he was being a brat is because I didn't love him as much as I love his Dad. I told him I loved him just as much, just as mightily as I love his dad, but that it was a different kind of love. "Yeah, I know. SEXY love. I want you to love me that way, too".
We talked it out, and I have to say, I think I should get extra points for having that conversation with my in-laws in the next room.
Don't you agree?!