I was talking to my sister-in-law tonight about a million different things, but one of the topics of conversation was about their Aunt, who is in a nursing home. She got really ill last year with cancer, and then a stroke. She's truly withered away - she used to be this tall, stately blonde, and she weighs about 90 lbs and has shrunk to about 5'4''. She no longer remembers people, with the exception of her brother (my father-in-law).
Joe-Henry overheard my end of the conversation and after I'd hung up, asked me lots of questions. He asked if she was going to die, and I said that yes, probably soon. He asked why she didn't remember anything, and I said that her body was working really hard to keep her alive, so she didn't have the strength to remember some things anymore.
"Do you mean it's like a bus came along, a big bus of feelings and took all her rememberings away?"
Yes. It's exactly like that.
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last night after a hundred some hours trying to get home from laguardia I pulled in around midnight and rec'd, just as I did, an email from my aunt, who said my grandmother has declined so dramatically that they're taking her in for an emergency evaluation.
her memory is shot. she's having anxiety attacks and strange paranoid delusions.
I replied and then promptly put it out of my mind. then today up early. first to work. then to volunteer work. then drag my sorry ass in the door and check my feeds before bed...
read this.
finally cry like I should have been crying all day.
thanks, friend. I needed that.
big old bus. exactly that.
give your sweet boy a hug and a kiss from me.
g'night.
Friend, when he said it, I immediately thought of you. Take care of yourself. You're in my heart.
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