The Perfect Gift

I love to get presents. I love to be pampered. And I love to give presents, too. So I have no issue with these made-up holidays. But as mother always said, the best gifts can't be bought in a store. My mother said this very thing the Christmas I made her a pencil holder out of a juice can, green clay and red rick-rack. She said it was her very favorite gift. It was ugly as sin, but you know what? I believe she meant it.

In honor of mother's everywhere, I give you my top five MOTHER'S DAY GIFTS THAT CAN'T BE BOUGHT:

1. A DAY FREE FROM GUILT
You let your kids watch too much t.v.? You let them eat candy? Or God Forbid, FRUIT SNACKS? This is the perfect gift for you. The blame will be assigned somewhere else when the dental-doctor-therapist bill/failing report card/police car comes.

2. A DAY FREE FROM WORRY
Your child is behaving badly at the park? Sick with a fever? Failing in school? I give you one day of sunshine, fresh air, and a seed to plant in your heart that will grow into this knowledge - IT WILL BE OKAY. Take care of yourself, go for a long walk, notice the sounds the birds make.

I don't pretend that this will actually work. I myself own the title "Worrier Queen", so I know you can never truly give it up. But that's what I strive for, and that is my wish for you.

3. A DAY WHERE LITTLE WHITE LIES DON'T TROUBLE YOUR SOUL
"Mom, do you love my stuffed animals as much as you love me?" "Mom, are we almost there?" "Honey, did you remember to mail that thing?" "Yes, I do." "Yes, we are." " Yes I did."

And not a second thought.

4. A DAY WITH ALL THE ANSWERS
"Where do babies come from?" "What makes the rings around Saturn?" "Why is there war?" "What is Heaven like?" "Why does the sign at Taco Time have a cactus and not a taco?"

You will have the answer to all these questions and more dancing on the tip of your tongue.

I didn't say they'd be the right answers. Just go on back to number 3 and ponder that for a second.

5. A DAY WHERE YOU FEEL ALL THE LOVE AND ADORATION SENT YOUR WAY.
Mothers are often too badly tested, too unappreciated, and treated too much like the maid. I wish for you a day when you can see beneath the punk attitude, the forgotten kiss, and the dirty socks on the floor. A day when you remember those heady first days with your newborn, that first smile, those times when you have been their whole world. Those days will pass so quickly, as they will and as they should. But those memories. Those are the things that get us through the rough.
Every day. I wish for you a head and heart full of those sweet memories, and the certain knowledge that under all that other crap beats the heart of a child, your child who loves you madly.

Happy Mother's Day.