We've been celebrating President's Day somewhat differently at our house. Well, to begin with, we didn't celebrate at our house. We celebrated at Grandma and Grandpa's house in California. By the beach. Sweet! I'm sure that's what they had in mind when they came up with this holiday - "Yeah, verily, and we shall crowd the nations byways and skyways with children on holiday from school, and they shall remember the founding fathers, and be thankful." Or something like that.
Then of course, there is the general, um, how to put this politely...distaste? for our current leader. That's just in our house, of course. But G&G don't care for him much either. So when dear leader showed his mug on the news the other night, Joe-Henry said, in his best grown up, authoritarian voice "President Bush is Such a Fuck."
With all the air sucked out of the room, I quickly put on my mommy hat and chided, quietly, "Joe-Henry!", which completely dissolved him. He was trying so hard to be part of the conversation with the grown ups, and I reminded him, quickly, that he wasn't. I later told him that I was sorry, not for reminding him not to say that word, but for embarrassing him, and for using the word in front of him, at some point, so that he could pull it out of his arsenal in front of his grandparents. I told him it wasn't a good word for a six year old to use, but that if he WAS going to use it, he used in the proper context (although I didn't add that he should have added an "er" on the end). And I agreed with him. About the president.
Anyhoo, today in the car he said, "Mom, I think I want to be President. I think I'd be good at it." "Would you?" I asked. "It's a hard job. What would you do that would make you a good President?" Here, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the first draft of his stump speech....
"First, I'd fire President Bush. Then I'd be kind to everybody. I'd be a good worker, I'd tell people it's important to save their money, and not just spend it all on one thing. I'd tell everybody to be good, to be nice to each other like Martin Luther King, and cooperate with each other. I'd also say it's important to spell words correctly."
That's my boy. He's got my vote.
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6 comments:
You are KILLING me.
Yes, he could be President and I'd vote for him in a heartbeat, but I predict that he'll be the next Jon Stewart. The kid is FUNNY and cute and smart, and he's gonna have a lot more fun and make a lot more money delivering fake news with a side of snark to an eager, appreciative audience four nights a week. Bonus: no term limits.
I am so thoroughly amused that you now have a blog label for future f-bombs.
Mine too! Can I have a bumpersticker? What a beautiful brilliant boy.
reminds me a little of Anne Lamott's F-ing keys story...
p.s. welcome home.
Oh my God. Your kid wins. The best Bailey ever did was fall down crying in his preschool classroom, screaming "You're lying!" to his teacher, when she told the classroom that George Bush won the election in 2004. I was trying to spare him the emotional turmoil and didn't tell him the outcome. They had to call me in for a conference and tell me that maybe I should be more "appropriate" at home regarding respect towards the presidential office. What I wouldn't give to send Joe-Henry to that place and whisper in his ear "George Bush. Discuss. GO!"
Permission requested to link to this post on my blog!
I did exactly what Bailey did after the last election. It was pretty glum around our house.
I think Joe-Henry and Bailey would have a great time together, don't you? Your comment made me spit my coffee. Luckily, because my husband is a Mac Genius, I am trained like a dog to spray any liquid AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD!
Joe-Henry went to a really fire-and-brimstone Lutheran preschool, and I'm sure they heard a few choice things from him, but no one ever called me into the office. Thanks for the great comment, and the hearty laugh.
And yes, of course, permission granted.
Franklin: I love your comments. They make me laugh almost as much as your posts! Thanks!
And to my dear Ms. Hoo: thank so much for the shout out. I'm working on the bumpersticker!
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