Friday, February 2, 2007

fear, part 2

Have you ever been to the doctor and had them totally blow you off? It's so frustrating, isn't it? But here's the other end of that spectrum - have you ever been to the doctor and had them be so thorough, so attentive, that it made you really, really nervous?

I went to my gyno yesterday for my yearly exam. We are fairly new to each other because we just moved here last spring, so I found her through my brother's girlfriend. I like her a lot, and feel like I'm in good hands. I'd been to her a couple times in the last six months due to urinary tract infections and some abnormal bleeding. At that time she assured me that it was common for women to have some changes at this stage of life, and I didn't worry too much about it. But yesterday, while taking my full history (again), and during the exam, she got alarmed and said "I think I'm going to order some tests". She says she's worried about fibroids, but wants to rule out all the "biggies". Gulp.

I go in next Friday for an ultrasound, and then she does a biopsy next month.

I'm usually pretty cavalier about stuff like this, but I have to tell you, I'm kind of scared. I had to have a biopsy once before, in my early thirties, and they found nothing, so I'm really hoping for the same outcome. I'm glad I can get in next week for the ultrasound, and I'll breathe even easier when I get the results of my pap smear and blood test.

A side effect of this is that I am feeling like a total bitch. I was so short with Joe-Henry this morning and last night, and I know he's feeling scared too. He's such a little emotional sponge, I can tell he's feeling it. Last night he had a complete meltdown over a little game, and I realized that I was having the same kind of inappropriate responses about little things too, so of course he's going to go there.

I'm going to just try my best to stay calm, take the tiny dose of Lexipro she prescribed to ease my mood swings, go for walks, and think healthy thoughts. Wish me luck, because I'm a total hypochondriac.

3 comments:

suttonhoo said...

*hugs*

Franklin5 said...

I wish you enormous truckloads of luck... not that you need it, but because I'm a hypochondriac, too. The tiny dose and the daily walks sound great... yoga, dancing wild around the room, and laughing out loud for no good reason are also great for drowning out the sound of that cranky internal worrywart. I'll do the same on your behalf, okay?

anniemcq said...

Thanks, friends. I'm putting on the music right now, feeling the love.