It's been an eventful few days here - not big events, but lots of small, full to the brim with crazy detail events, and it's mostly just washing over me, bathing me in soft light. Of course it could be the Lexapro. The only downside is the horrible indigestion I seem to have all the time. But I'm told that that particular side effect will vanish in a week or so. God, I hope so, because it's uncomfortable. Especially since I am used to my iron stomach (iron on the inside that is, on the outside I put the Pillsbury Doughboy to shame!)
Last Friday I had an ultrasound to determine what is going on inside my uterus. A few days before I took a home pregnancy test, just to rule out being the oldest mother on earth. (I'm not.) The woman who ran the ultrasound machine was incredibly efficient, and that was a great thing, since I had to drink 32 ounces of water before and had to pee like you read about. Every time she pressed that thing on my belly, I thought water would shoot out of me like a firehose. Luckily it didn't, and I retained my dignity (and my water), until she finished, told me to empty my bladder and come back for part 2. I did (it took FOREVER), and I came back in and she pulled out the giant dildo looking ultrasound probe. She did her best to explain what it would feel like, which, I guess you might need to know if a) you've never had sex, or b) never used a tampon, but since I am an old pro (emphasis on old) at both, I just focused on her hair and glasses as she spoke. She had a nice middle aged bob, and her glasses were too big for her face. She asked me if I'd had a lot of bleeding (I haven't), she "hmmmm"d, and typed furiously. I should know the results in the next day or so. Honestly, I feel fine, except for the cold that Joe-Henry and I both have, so I'm not too worried. Well, you know, except for the moments of sheer panic when I'm sure it's something horrible and I should start planning for the end. Hahahahahaha. Okay. I'm slightly terrified. But I'm doing my best to live in the moment. And there have been lots of "moments" (most of them wonderful) in the last few days to take my mind off things...
...Bingo night at his school on Friday night. I had volunteered to round up volunteers and also to work in the "daycare" room. I put those quotes there, because it wasn't daycare, it was a three to twelve year old free for all fiasco in the gym, with everyone on scooter boards, pelting each other with dodgeballs. I was one of five "adults" in the room, two of the volunteers being teenagers. We were soooo lucky that no one got seriously hurt (one little girl with giant glasses did get a cut lip, after her mom came to get her at the end of the night). To say that I badly needed a beer after is an understatement. It had been quite a day.
On Saturday we had a birthday dinner here for my brother's girlfriend, and the food was delicious (if I do say so myself!) - Southwest Caesar Salad, enchiladas, brown rice and banana cake for dessert. It was so nice to have all the happy voices in our house, and the capper was when Joe-Henry suggested a dance party in the living room, and all the adults agreed! I have always dreamed of having the house where everyone has a fun, non-alchohol fueled time, and this was the epitome for me. Plus, my husband made my brother laugh so hard he cried, which was worth the price of admission.
Sunday Joe-Henry came down with a cold, and he's missed school for two days. He's not too sick, but sick enough to stay home and snuggle his mom on the couch, and watch too much tv and play game after game of "Guess Who?"
Full of moments - just every day moments, most of them passing without notice, some of them shining like little jewels to be tucked away in a pocket of my memory, to visit when I'm feeling a little scared or blue.
Like right now. My son is cuddled on the couch, whining miserably about his stuffy nose, demanding saltines and watching "The Upside Down Show" for the four hundred and second time. Even when he's whining, he's still pretty sweet. I guess I'll tuck this one away too.
Mahogany Tofu (aka Mock au Vin)
2 days ago