Well, I am childless for another few days.
Hmmmmm. How does it feel, you might ask?
The first day was the hardest, as the day before had involved a trip to the ER for Joe-Henry, who for the second morning in a row had experienced pain in his shoulder and ribs, culminating in a pain that hurt when he breathed. Visions of a hospital stay, or at least him having to come home with us rather than stay on a few extra days at G&G's danced in my head. I did my best to stay Zen about the whole thing, and managed not to get too freaked out. They did a chest x-ray, and there wasn't anything there, his heart and lungs sounded good, so he thought it might be some gastric reflux. We filled a prescription, and he seemed to feel better. So we stuck to our plans to leave the next morning early for San Francisco.
This is something I'd been looking forward to since we planned the trip. I managed to wait three hours before calling the in-laws to check on the boy, and after the initial call, he called us about ten more times. Not asking us to come back, not crying, just checking in. I had time alone in the car with my husband, walking around San Francisco hand in hand, after messing up the sheets in the hotel, windowshopping, eating a good meal. All of that, and a game of Yahtzee to boot. Some things have changed since we were able to have this kind of time together - instead of Victoria's Secret, I got my panties in a wad at The Container Store, but hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it. But other things remain the same - the way he makes me laugh, the kind of conversations we can have, about anything, as well as the easy, contented silence that comes from years of common experiences.
We ate a great dinner at North Beach Lobster Shack, and hit City Lights Bookstore, where I had to step out twice to answer my cell. Joe-Henry was a little lonely for us that first day or two, but I think he's getting used to this. I had to call HIM today, and when I asked him the same question twice and he didn't answer because he was too distracted by the fun he was having, I decided to let go of the worry and anxiety and enjoy this time fully. We drove home all the way yesterday, listening to two Michael Connolly books on tape, enjoying the gorgeous scenery and each other's company in ways we haven't in a long time. It's nice to know that under these parent costumes we wear, we've still got it as a couple.
We're going to see Shampoo with my brother and his girlfriend tonight, and I weeded my garden today until I didn't feel like it anymore. Charley tried to talk me into a bike ride this afternoon, but I managed to talk him into something else. Tomorrow he goes back to work, and I get some major, uninterrupted time to do stuff to my house. I want to paint JH's room while he's gone to surprise him. I've got big plans for the next few days.
But if all I do is read a book and work in the yard, that's okay too.
It's nice to be back.
But I still automatically look to see if he's there when I pass his room.