Sunday, July 15, 2007

Who I Am

While I've been thoroughly enjoying this play time away from my little boy, I was struck the other night with just how much of a "mom" I have become.

We went to see "Shampoo" with my brother and his girlfriend, and after we went to this great restaurant for dinner. I was savoring a lemon drop, as well as the adult conversation, when I heard a baby squeal. I looked over at the table next to us and there was a beautiful baby, about six months old, sitting on her mommy's lap. She was such a little Gerber baby, and she smiled at me like she had my number. A few minutes later, I saw another baby, this one fresh out of the oven, truly it looked like it was born that morning. The new mom and dad were completely doting, as was the new grandma, who was probably only about ten years older than me. As they got up to go, the other mom with the older baby looked at her friend and oogled the brand new baby, like she could hardly remember her little one being that tiny.

I know how she felt. I also couldn't shake the feeling that if something went down and those babies needed me, I was there. I had my mom badge in my purse, and could step in and take over should they need me to.

As we got ready to leave, an beautiful little girl in a white dress and sparkly shoes held the door for us, as well as anyone else who happened to be passing through. She was just a bit younger than JH, and as I was thanking her, and reminiscing about Joe-Henry going through his "door" phase, my cell phone rang. It was my boy, and he sounded so old. After we all talked to him, my brother's girlfriend, whose daughter is getting married in October, said "isn't it nice to still feel needed?" She had taken her daughter shopping for her registry, and said it felt so good to be useful to her.

I'm not sure how much Joe-Henry needs me now - he's having a blast with Grandma and Grandpa, and tonight he didn't even want to talk to me.

But I'm still his mom. I've got my badge here somewhere.


Donna said...

Hey Annie, this post was just the kick in the butt I needed to finally give my own blog a try. Here's the initial offering, with more to come.

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. I often feel very...weird about my mom badge. On the one hand, it is bizarre I have 3 children. I mean, earth mother I am not. I am definitely not the "stereotypical" mom (and I know you know what I mean, having read my blog as long as you have)

And yet...I'm right there with the universal mother alliance if need be, or sometimes, even if not "need" be. Being a mother to my 3 children is so deeply ingrained in my soul that even as I rebel against it, it is part of my identity like my blue eyes or cellulite laden thighs.

The beauty of motherhood.